F#$%k New Year’s Resolutions!
Instead, Plan for Your Dream to Become a Reality
I am a person who is mentally engaged by the idea of making positive change year over year. Of course I am — I’m a coach! I chose this profession because I want to help people live up to their full potential. People hire me because they want to change in some way: they want more fulfillment, more money, more meaningful experiences, more “something”— I love this work. I love being a thought partner in helping my clients achieve their dreams.
I believe too often, we don’t ask for enough from our lives. We wish we had more (more excitement, more money, more friends, more love), but we don’t give ourselves the gift of time and attention to really create deep dreams for ourselves. We don’t dive into the dream and really allow ourselves to commit to it. Notice I said “ourselves.” I am guilty of this, too. I get busy with the day-to-day, and I forget to dream big dreams for myself. I get comfortable, or tired, or a little lazy, and my life starts to become mundane, and all of a sudden, I start to feel like my life might be a little too… ordinary.
Then January comes around. And with it, all the resolutions. Resolutions are seductive. Resolutions offer the promise of a change from an ordinary life. They are like the seed of a dream without a real commitment. 91% of people don’t keep their resolutions all year, and 23% quit in the first week. The second Friday in January is called Quitter’s Day, and most people quit then. People change something for a short while (dieting, giving up alcohol, vowing to be more available to family, etc), hoping this will make their lives better, but they don’t actually create real or lasting change. Studies show women have weight loss and health-related resolutions, while men tend toward work/career improvement resolutions. Resolutions often are what people believe they “should” do. They are like the mean cousin to a real LIFE CHANGING DREAM. I say F#$%k New Year’s Resolutions! Get to the real dreaming!
Real change takes a bigger effort than simply making a resolution. And it definitely takes more time and commitment. I believe there are 3 phases to fulfilling a life-changing dream:
Phase 1:
Commit to the Dream
This may seem easy, but it might be the bravest part of all. It is the way you have to expand inside yourself to start to believe in the possibility of the dream. For example, maybe you think of becoming an author. For many years, I thought I would write a book “someday.” I thought of lots of ideas, and it was in the land of possibilities in my head, but I hadn’t committed to the dream yet. At some point, I decided to make the leap, and I was “IN!” For me, the “IN” moment was when I had a title and sat down to make an outline. Check out how my dream came true here.
Phase 2:
Plan for the Dream to Become Reality
This is the next phase of the dream. This is the land of action. What is the very first step toward putting your dream into action? When will you start? Is there someone you could partner with? These are the kinds of questions I ask my clients every day as a coach. Make the plan, start the plan, and keep doing the plan!
Make the plan, start the plan, and keep doing the plan! Share on X
Phase 3:
Complete the Dream
You may not know every step at the beginning, and you don’t need to. It can be a long journey to a big dream, but completing the dream is where most of the fulfillment comes from. I sometimes meet people who leave a trail of broken dreams behind them because they are unable to complete something they started. They have a list of “shoulds” and things they wish they had done. Finishing the work to complete a dream is both arduous and incredibly important. This is true whether you are writing a book, building a new website, getting a degree, writing an exam, or creating a work of art.
How will you manage these steps so that your dream will be alive in the world? How will you commit to finishing?
You don’t need another New Year’s resolution that’s another flash in the pan that sizzles out by the end of January. You need a dream. A big one. One that you will commit to through the year, throughout your life, perhaps.
I challenge you to make your dream come alive in 2024 in fundamental ways that will change your life.
If you want to work with a partner to make your dreams come alive, then hire a coach. I might be the right coach for you. Let’s talk.
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